I want to live now

 I want to live now

No doubt this how we broke up 

suddenly both of us started to feel bored
no progress
nothing to move on with
we decided it's better to brick our bound with out holding any feeling to each other
1st few days were totally fine
2nd few weeks we started to talk again
3rd few months we started to show how deeply we miss each other
once upon a time
I proposed and she smiled but said no
she broke my heart
asked her why ? but she said just no is enough no reasons for saying no take it or leave it
then asked me the weirdest question I'd ever hear to not ask that again
with tears in my eyes and shaking in my voice I promised her to not ask her again
"I promise you I won't do with all my heart I promise you"
"I won't take your hand ever but I'll love you for ever I promise you"
"you'll always be a good memory in my mind"
"there's nothing to worry about I'm totally yours"
but I'll never forget the way you looked in my eyes when you said "No"
your eyes were glaceing to me in a very ironic way
 then you said "enough!!"
few weeks after I figure out you were cheating on me.....
so  all by my self I can survive I don't need anyone this time
yeah I figured it out by my self that too much love will kill you
I still feel betrayed but no one told me before that too much love will kill me
finally I started to read signs
I want to live now
M.A.Zeineddin